Year: 2013

Time and time again the subject that new Mums bring to me is that of night-times and baby’s sleep.  Often it is a couple or more months down the line, when the novelty of the newborn has worn off and life is settling in to a more predictable pattern.  That is when we have emptied the sleep bank of anything that we stored during pregnancy, and when we are desperately searching for answers/solutions to sleep-problems.

Elizabeth Pantley, author of the No Cry Sleep Solution says that women believe that they have one of two options – to cry it out, or to live with it.  And for most those are bleak choices.  We are biologically programmed to respond to our babies when they cry, in fact the majority of mothers will wake a few minutes before their babies do at night – it’s like we have an inbuilt alarm clock.  It therefore goes against the grain to let our babies cry for any length of time – it causes us distress, let alone our babies.  And, there are more and more studies coming out about the psychological damage being done to babies by controlled crying, with emotive words like abandonment being used.  However, living with a nocturnal waker can be a real challenge – we need sleep – in fact sleep-deprivation is a form of torture.  So, what can we do.  Do we have any alternative choices? (more…)

I’m not sure how many of you will have heard Woman’s Hour this morning where the subject was choice in birth. Once I got past Kirstie Allsop’s uncomfortable interview style, I found it interesting to listen to, amongst others, Belinda Phipps and Christine Hill discussing antenatal education. It is a subject close to my heart, given the work I do in preparing doula clients for birth, and also as I embark on antenatal class provision myself.  There seemed to be unequivocal agreement that antenatal classes are  good thing, but it is intriguing to note the divergence of opinion on what subjects are key to cover, and what can slip.
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Thankfully the furore surrounding the birth of  Prince George has finally died down and, with luck, Kate and William can get on with their lives without such an extreme media spotlight glaring.  They have entered that phase that has become known as “The Babymoon”.  This term was originally coined by the splendid anthropologist Sheila Kitzinger (who I saw last in Edinburgh in April – in her mid-eighties and as lucid and sharp as ever) to mean a time immediately after birth when the parents hunker down and spend time getting to know their baby.  In fact, it is believed that fathers find the transition to fatherhood far easier if they do spend two weeks minimum at home after the birth.  The babymoon term has been “stolen” by various travel companies to entice pregnant couples away to enjoy one last holiday together prior to the baby’s arrival, but we won’t dwell on that!
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This week I went in to my daughter’s Year 3 class at school to give a talk about my job.  I was a bit apprehensive, as I am sure you can imagine, thinking about all those 7 and 8 year olds running home and telling their parents about how they had learnt all about birth, breastfeeding and the like, so decided to focus on the postnatal and baby massage side of my job – on what babies need when they are newborn and how doulas can support mummies and daddies in looking after their precious new baby.  My first question to them all was “What is a doula?”  As expected very few responded, but one little boy, Spike, thrust up his hand.  Surprised, I asked him;  “I know Ab-doula, from Tintin” came the reply.  I’m fairly sure from my rusty memories of Tintin that Abdullah is a man from the Middle East, so I said I didn’t think he did the same thing I did.  When I told them that “doula” comes from the Ancient Greek meaning female slave they found that quite amusing.  Not very women’s lib really is it!
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I have recently been hugely inspired by conferences attended by doulas, midwives, obstetricians and other birth workers.  The passion and positivity that comes from these events is so rewarding, but also it brings new challenges.  In so many workshops/study days/seminars I attend the speakers are preaching to the converted – we know just how important where, with whom and how a woman gives birth is.  So, I have been thinking about how to extend this – how to get those all-important messages out to the people who matter – the women giving birth, and the people supporting them.

Many people will have heard of the Red Tent Movement – women coming together to share all things female – pregnancy, birth, menstruation …  I would like to start something in the spirit of the Red Tent, but not exclusive to women – it is important that the men are on board too!!!  I propose to organise bimonthly get togethers at my home in Wandsworth for anyone who is interested to talk/share/listen and discuss subjects around birth.  At each of these get-togethers I will most likely screen a relevant film, and the first I propose is Birth Stories, the new film made by Ina May Gaskin.   Ina May is a revolutionary midwife, author and activist whose birthing centre, The Farm, in Tennessee has been so instrumental in reminding us what is important in the supporting of women during birth.  For more information about her visit http://www.inamay.com/biography

So, if you would like to come along to one of these get-togethers (and I will come up with a better name for them!) then please let me know via the contact form on my website.  I look forward to hosting the first of what I hope will be many interesting and stimulating evenings.

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Stop the presses – we know when Princess Kate is going to give birth.  Or do we?  Actually the only time we can ever be certain of when a baby is going to arrive is if there is a scheduled caesarean, and there is no denying that in some cases that is a positive thing.  However, I have come to really loathe the concept of the 40-week due date for a number of reasons:

Firstly, it seems such an arbitrary figure to pluck out of the air.  In medical terms a baby is believed to have reached full-term from 37 weeks gestation … and anything up to 42 weeks is considered absolutely normal.  In France the “due date” is given as 41 weeks, so our international friends cannot agree with us.  As a birth doula I tend to go on-call from 38 weeks, but I make sure that all the women I support are aware that the majority (65%) of first-time Mums (primips) go past 40 weeks.
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I’m just back from the annual MAMA conference -a joyful two days spent with midwives, doulas, birth educators and other interested parties – a plethora of brilliant and informed speakers and much to think about.  However, there were also some challenges, particularly one as I was leaving the beautiful Assembly Rooms at the end of the first day.  Chatting with the cabbie who was driving me back to my hotel he asked what I was doing in Edinburgh and I explained about the conference.  He asked if it was mainly women attending, saying that if birth was done by men they would just “open up, spit it out, then be back at work a couple of days later”. To say I was shocked would be an understatement.  Various feelings and thoughts ran through my mind, the overwhelming one being “What an arsehole”. I contemplated getting out of the cab and refusing to pay. However, for some reason we were destined to spend more time together as there was a huge traffic jam on Princes Street.  
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Those of you who know me well will be tired of me constantly banging on about the benefits of putting a baby on his/her tummy.  However, Peter Walker (who trained me in Baby Massage teaching) has just sent the following through and I felt it worth sharing!

Research from America followed 350 babies from birth to walking. This showed that babies who spend time on their tummies are able to roll over, sit up, creep, crawl and pull themselves up to standing significantly earlier than babies who remain on their backs.

The AAP (American Academy of Pediatrics) now recommends that babies sleep on their backs but spend wakeful time on their tummies. “Back to Sleep and Tummy to Play” is their message.
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